My version of self care looks a hell of a lot different than my wife’s….and so it should.
When you hear “self care” do you think of bubble baths and candles, or campfires and trees? The specifics don’t matter, but the intention/outcome does.
I believe self care should leave you with two things. An increase in both energy, and clarity. It’s easy to find things that can give you one of those, but getting both is something special.
As men it’s common to go out with some good intention to find an increase in energy/clarity but we easily fall into the trap of hiking a bit further, fishing a little longer, or stressing until whatever we're doing is perfect. I have been guilty of that to the extreme, and it wasn’t until I consistently left an activity feeling more lit up both physically and mentally that I became comfortable with the idea of “self care”.
It’s knowing when to slow yourself down, and give yourself permission to “just be” for a little while. For me, being in the woods or mountains is my consistent fall back. I can change my outlook by asking myself the question am I going out to “be in nature”, or “to be with nature?" Either option is great, but one involves a lot of doing, while the other involves a lot of relaxing.
Setting up boundaries with yourself is incredibly difficult, especially with an ego telling you to push your ass over the hill and see the next view, or that you should be deadlifting instead of meditating. It can be really fucking hard to shut that self talk off.
A trick I use is to give myself one thing to accomplish before I allow myself to totally switch off. In the case of this photo it was to simply light a fire. The challenge was to find some usable tinder from around the river, and not use a lighter. It was a legitimate challenge, but once that frustration of building the fire was gone, and the act itself became an accomplishment, that inner voice to go “do more” drifted away, and the physical/emotional gas tank got a real opportunity to refil.
Self care can be anything to anyone, but in order to actually gain from it: get rid of distractions, and set some boundaries with yourself to fight the temptation to stay busy. Not doing anything without distractions can be incredibly uncomfortable at times, especially when our nervous systems are melted from work stressors, but it is SO WORTH IT to identify and learn how to recharge our tanks effectively.
K.
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join the mailing list to receive the latest updates on new posts, calls and courses.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
Everyone hates SPAM. I will never sell your information, for any reason.
