Who's the Victim?

A wise man recently encouraged me to memorize the definition of the Victim Mentality: 

"The victim mentality is an acquired personality trait where a person tends to regard himself or herself as the victim of the negative actions of others or events, even in the absence of clear evidence. The victim Mentality depends on a habitual thought process, attributions, and poor breathing patterns"

Many of us have stumbled into a seemingly comfortable place in our lives where we are unknowingly, and extremely attached to this victim mentality. That the job is the reason we struggle with whatever obstacle we may be facing (sleep, relationship, vitality, finances, etc). Or that we are the victim of a shitty public perception that paints us all with the same brush. This comes up flush for those of us that may have received a PTSD diagnosis.

If you are off work (or at work) and you have been diagnosed with the dreaded "PTSD", how are you not going to feel like a victim of that diagnosis? The stigma is SO big that before we even think about it being possible, we already fear it. This is not to underplay the severity and challenges of PTSD, but to shed light on the fact that YOU ARE NOT YOUR DIAGNOSIS. 

One more time.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR DIAGNOSIS

Let's be honest, in the first responder world we might as well all be given that diagnosis after a few years. Who knows, perhaps that in itself would help fight the stigma and temptation to identify as the victim of it in itself? 

Countless times in conversation I have heard people say something along the lines of "I have PTSD so I can't work on myself", or "my therapist says I have really bad PTSD", "my PTSD keeps me from ..........", and the absolute worst in my opinion "I'm broken". 

YOU ARE NOT YOUR DIAGNOSIS

It even happens on the flip side where the fear of being told they might have PTSD keeps a person from getting to work on themselves. Paralyzes them in whatever funk they are in. In this instance, the person is already identifying as a victim to it despite not even having a diagnosis yet! 

So how do we move past this? We begin to accept that we are faced with a challenge. We take ownership of it. We detach from the diagnosis or whatever we are falling "victim" to. We get to fucking work.

Post traumatic growth is a real thing. A legitimate, wonderful, beautiful thing where the person comes out the other side of their hero's journey a new man/woman. 

Yup, it's going to suck.

Yup, it's gunna be hard. 

But the juice is worth the squeeze, and it is possible to get to the other side. Taking ownership of this and overcoming the victim mentality starts with our self talk.

Our mindset. 

If you're ready to overcome the victim mentality, and break through your awful self talk that has taken over, let's talk. I'm in.