Looping

Quick one because a new recruit moved into the kennel, and times are sleepless/loud…..

Piggybacking on last week’s ramble regarding clear communication, this tool for effective listening can be a real game changer. Especially if you begin to treat listening more like a skill, and less like a mindless input of noise until you get to say your part, your connections can become pretty remarkable and fulfilling. 

Ever feel like you’re trying to listen, but it’s just not possible? Whether that’s due to some general nervous system burn out, or you’re dragging that piano tied to your ass around after a couple of long night shifts, this tool can get you through those times.

It’s called looping, and it’s pretty damn simple. Ideally we can use this the majority of the time in conversation, but give it a shot next time you find yourself struggling to pay attention, or when you want to take a connection to another level.

Step 1: Once in the conversation, notice you’re breath, and if you’re not already, switch from mouth to nasal breathing.

Step 2: On the inhale, take stock of how YOU are feeling. During this phase of the breath cycle, put some focus on yourself. How is the conversation/interaction landing for you? How does your body actually feel? Chest tight? Sick in the stomach? Joyful? Excited? Is there anything keeping you from being even more present? 

Step 3: On the exhale, give that focus to who you are engaging with. Get curious. What/how might they be feeling? Maybe you underestimated how important this is to them? Is there something that isn’t landing for you, or that you need clarification on? Really take in what they're communicating, you'll be able to selfishly focus on yourself again soon. 

Continue the loop as long as you can, and if you get caught day dreaming or checking out, just start back up on the inhale!

An incredibly important time for this is during a more heated interaction. It can take you out of the reactive state, and give you a chance to really settle in. This allows you to come at it from a more clear/grounded place, and often avoid or resolve any potential conflict before shit needlessly hits the fan. It can also take really great interactions to another level.

Although this is a tool, it is one that takes some skill. Play with it and see if you can keep the loop going for an entire conversation. There is a ton of circumstances where this can be applied. From a simple interaction with a stranger, or even when you’re taking a statement, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, at home engaged in something that doesn’t generally involve a ton of conversing (wink wink). 

If this seems useful, but you need some help with it, message me and I’d be more than willing to chat about it further!

K.