Greet Your Partner Like You Greet Your Dog

One of the most overlooked ways to keep a healthy work/life balance, is to place intention on the transition periods. It’s so damn easy to drive home in a funk from a hard shift, mindlessly walk through the door and allow that funk to seep into the rest of your life.

Use the transition time from work to home as YOUR TIME. If that means you have to stop halfway and take a walk, or take the long route home so you can listen to that song that’s really hitting you an extra time, do it. As much as we would like to think we’re on point all the time, whoever or whatever it is that you come home to doesn’t want the distant or miserable version of you anyways. Before you touch that door knob, take the time to get yourself right. Some ways myself and other cops have found that really work at shifting our mindset and energy before getting home are:

- Moving! If your shift was a brutal one, now might not be the time for that barn burner of a workout you had planed. Take it easy and "work in", instead of "work out". There are some incredibly simple movement practices stemming from Qigong and Tai Chi that are gentle, and very energizing. The trick is synching your breath to your movement. Youtube is a great resource to explore some of these movements, or feel free to reach out to me and I'd love to lead you through some. If the thought of (or effort to pronounce Qigong is too "woo woo" for you) just move your body, ideally in a way that makes you happy. Run, dance, actively stretch, shoot a basketball, practice your balance, anything that leaves you with an increase in energy instead of further depleting it. 

- Mindfulness practices. A lot of cops fail at meditation because we try to do it at THE WORST times. After shift might be the hardest possible time to sit in silence with your eyes closed. And for good reason. You were just incredibly over stimulated even if it was a slow shift, but that can be a great time for some simple mindfulness practices like breath or step counting. My favourite mindfulness practice to quickly get out of my head is to simply take a short walk. Count to 100 with each foot. If you lose count start over. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to get lost in a thought and have to begin again. I’ll alternate between only counting the right foot to 100, then only counting the left. As if you’re adding by 2 the whole time. The way I do it looks something like this: L,2,L,4,L,6,L,8………….L,100. This works really well to get out of your head while you're on shift as well.

- Positive feeling state meditation. Unlike a meditation where you sit in stillness, this is more of a practice, and is incredible to do in the moments just prior to getting home. As a basic concept of it: shake your body out for a minute or so (small hops where just your heels come off the ground), think of a joyous memory and the feeling in your body it brought up (ie: playing with your kids at the beach, giving great news to someone, etc). Focus on that feeling while reliving the memory for a few moments, and with your eyes closed just be with it for as long as you can. Focus on how good the sensation and feeling that memory was, and continues to give to you. With a little practice, this can literally shift you from miserable to thankful in a minute. For a guided version of this, contact me and I'll be more than happy to lead you through one.

 - Greet your partner or family like you greet your dog. Ever think about that? I didn’t until recently and realized that I always pet/play/enthusiastically greet the dog, then moments later just offer a half ass greeting to my wife with a quick kiss or something. I’m not saying run up to her and pet/wrestle with him/her (unless that’s their thing, then go for it!), but I am saying add some intention and meaning to your greeting. Before you get into story telling about the day, or are immediately handed parenting duties, actually make a point to connect with your partner in a positive way. You will both benefit from this, and it starts your time off in the right place.

It's not something we talk about often, but the importance of the transition between work and home can't be stressed enough. Yes, some shifts will be just too much and you’re going to need some support when you walk in the door, but that should not become a pattern. Your partner, pets, family, etc don’t deserve to have you walk in the door after every shift and have you put your work stress onto them.

Add intention to the transition, and come home the way you actually want to.

Is there something specific you do to ensure you're not dragging the shift's emotional baggage into your house? Share your wins in the comments so others can try!

K.