Leaks

We all have them, but are you aware of yours? I consider a leak to be anything that pulls my focus or energy away, anything that empties my cup. Unfortunately there’s a lot more to it than just those “check out” habits we all have, but identifying leaks is a fantastic way to really increase our vitality, and make smarter lifestyle choices.

At first it’ll seem easy to start naming leaks in your life; phone scrolling, Netflix, video games, porn, booze, all the usuals. Those habits give a great opportunity for us to lean into, and get curious about why we willingly trade our time/energy for activities that give us so little in return. 

A somewhat unique leak that I discovered with myself was that it wasn’t an activity I was leaking energy to, but a constant onslaught of information I would subject myself to. A podcast or audiobook would be on in my PC during shift, or during dog walks, doing dishes, working out, etc. I didn’t think anything of it because I considered it to be educational. I’m definitely the type to research the crap out of whatever interests me, and that creates a never ending amount of content to consume. This lead to not only paralysis by analysis in so many parts of my life, but a general feeling of being “stuck” a lot of the time. Once I identified this, I made an effort to change that consumption to 70% music vs 30% audiobook/podcast, and my creativity sky rocketed.

But what if we dive a bit deeper into where we leak energy. What about all those “incompletes” , or "open loops" in our lives? The things that just seem to find a place in the back of our mind, only to show up every so often and distract us. Is there someone from your past that still pops into your head from time to time? Like that great person you dated for a bit, and then completely ghosted? Or maybe that family member that you hold some animosity with? 

How about that thing you probably should’t have done, but did anyways and just never told anyone about? That email you’ve been avoiding, or that insignificant chore that just never seems to get done. All of these things stack up, and pull vitality away from us equal to their severity. 

Quitting habits can be really fucking challenging, but those leaks are pretty straight forward to plug. What about the others? Well, you could go full balls to the wall and just contact that person you’ve wronged and apologize from a place of integrity. Pretty scary proposition I know, I’ve done this....DAMN was it hard, but it produced immediate results. I went from thinking of this person and the bit of shame I had around my actions maybe once or twice a week, to not thinking about it for months at a time. And now when I do, it's from a really grounded and content place, instead of inducing a shame spiral like it did before. That was a significant plug. 

In that circumstance I was fortunate that the person heard my apology, and gave a very heartfelt reflection back which only increased the respect I had for them. But what if it just wouldn’t be appropriate for you to reach out to that person, or perhaps they might just be entirely unwilling to listen. A great exercise in this situation would be to write a letter. A letter so raw and honest that you truly feel complete upon it’s conclusion. Read it with intention. Forgive yourself, or the person you wrote to, then burn the thing and move on. The leak may not be fully plugged, but it’s a very good start and you should feel a greater sense of integrity around the situation. You could also use any object to signify the person, and role play the clearing conversation out. Yeah it sounds a bit weird, but try it! 

What I suggest is to take inventory of your leaks. See what’s obvious and easy to patch up versus what needs a little more attention to remedy. Then start tackling that list and watch your vitality increase dramatically, instead of just sitting their watching your cup empty out.

K.